Communicating Love

Communicating Love

You’ve probably heard the saying “action speaks louder than words.”  While I would not be the one to argue that one, let us not take too lightly the power of the spoken language.  Certain words used repetitively, whether positive or negative will eventually have a lasting effect. 

     God said “let there be light” and there was.  He created us in his image.  So when you say something, there is a good chance that it will be so.  That also applies to what you tell yourself.  If you tell yourself repeatedly that you will succeed, it becomes apart of your conscious mind’s program to be so.  First there is the thought, followed by the spoken word, and the universe begins to align itself to fulfill your will.  Now we don’t have the power of God himself, but just enough to create our own path of existence.

      That is how we were created in his image and likeness.  With that said, be careful what you ask for.  The only catch is because man was granted free will that also renders you powerless when trying to make another human do what you want.  God himself doesn’t control you and you cannot control anyone else.  Every person is given the power and ability to be in charge of himself/herself…  We can only attempt to influence others with our will. Some may think they have control over another but you’d be surprised at how quick a bird in the hand will flee give the opportunity.  Keep in mind that each day of praise or otherwise will build the foundation for your future with that special someone.  Be it I hate you or I love you, eventually the structure will follow suit of the foundation. 

Saying I love you often may tend to dull the sensitivity of the average cochlea, but there are many more ways to say I love you.  Frequent referring to each other by terms of endearment is one example.  “Love Muffin” is one of my favorites. It doesn’t have to be as corny as that.  The idea is to display your affection on a regular basis.  I try to rotate between names to add a little humor to the relationship. I may even slip a “winch “in there now and again.  Its ok, I’ve stacked my brownie points enough to get away with it, when the mood is light. 

Calling your wife “my heart and soul versus heifer would definitely score some brownie points with the misses. It will also help establish a solid loving environment.  My ex used to refer to me as sorry “Mother F#$^&r”.  That is how she expressed her deep and gratifying love for me.  It took a little understanding and endurance on my part, but what’s love without it.

 I never thought I was good enough to be called that but I reluctantly accepted the gracious honor.  Now if those words aren’t speaking loud I would love to see the translated action version. It will probably knock my socks off! (Literally) No pun intended.  On the flip side simple words of encouragement when helpful will score bonus points.

      Here is an example: Your husband or boyfriend comes home after a tough day at work with his chin dragging the ground.  He is mumbling and retro talking to his boss as if he wishes he had the nerve to speak his mind an hour ago.  As a partner you take notice, (because you are not self centered) and ask him if he is ok.  Of course he says he’s fine because he is a man.  By allowing him to “be the man” you allow him some time to open up on his own. In the mean time, show him a little extra love until he is ready to vent.  Eventually he confers with the pity committee and invites you in.  This is where the lack of your initial input may be the best response.  After the smoke clears and the steam have subsided, you look him in the eyes as if he is the king of Neptune and smile.  You tell him how lucky you are to have a man like him.  Reinforce the fact that you have faith in his abilities and strength. He is a better man than most by far.  It may be laying it on a little thick, but you have taken a verbal finger to replace his hanging chin far beyond its original position.

      There is no one greater than a man’s love to revive him from this pathetic state.  Just as the boy who runs to his mother about the unfairness of his teacher in school, he still exists within the grown up body that shields him against all but love.  With a few words of encouragement, you’ve possibly earned yourself a romantic reward from him, and maybe even a diamond, just as his mother did when the haphazard adolescent storms in the house with flowers to show his appreciation.  Whether or not he was a sorry M F or SOB the night before, if he truly loves you, a dose of the right words daily will have him taking two and calling you in the morning.  I know it may look nice on paper and the actual sequence of events may drastically differ, but it is worth the effort.  Anything worth having is worth keeping/caring for.  While there are millions of ways to communicate, there have been a few of my love habits that were brought to my attention.  My Sugar Plum/honey dumplings said that she feels the love from the way I look at her.  I wouldn’t have noticed if she didn’t tell me. (Hey check out the communication!)  A simple gesture surpassed any words that I could have spoken but she appreciated the non-verbal effort. (She told me that too!) 

     I don’t proclaim to be an expert, but I have learned enough from my past to share with those who may be experiencing the challenge for the first time.  It’s not easy but it’s not impossible.  If it seems to be impossible, you may need to pack your bags and move on.  You can lead a horse to water but you have to all most drown him to make him drink.  I thunk that one up myself.  The most important thing about communicating love is that you keep the two-way radio waves open.  And Men, sometimes when your wife is venting and her word is falling apart over a dead plant, don’t try to fix it with words.  Just listen.  She doesn’t need an answer unless she asks you.  In my experience, asking them the right question allows them to answer themselves.  No blame!