Rihanna’s “Magic Mood Ring”
Author: Susan Murphy Milano
Susan Murphy Milano addresses Rihanna’s reactions to Chris Brown.
There is a definite buzz more like a criticism of the entertainer Rihanna since her brutal attack of then boyfriend Chris Brown. People have a lot of questions about why she has refused to discuss or even comment on the crime. Like most women involved in a violent relationship Rhianna obviously thinks Chris Brown, given all the attention, will never lay a hand on her again. But this is part of the victimization that a person experiences.
Rihianna choose Chris Brown whom was like all abuser’s a gentle and loving person when they began the relationship. Over time his temper tantrums were kept under control or hidden as the relationship grew. As most women who found themselves do they are often willing to put up with things behind closed doors that no one ever see’s but them. Why? Because like Rihanna they need and want the relationship, but, like Rihanna a woman believes she can change the person’s violent behavior.
This woman loves Chris Brown she knows him from the inside out and is willing to take the good days over the few bad days. Rihanna is no different than any other young woman in a potentially dangerous dating relationship. She has the same emotions, needs, desires and feelings as you or I. The only difference is she happens to be famous.
This behavior is more like denial that we are witnessing and it is normal for victims in these relationships. You are probably saying to yourself, “Uh, how can she stay with him after that beating?” If that were me I would leave and never return. This is easier said than accomplished for victims of dating or abusive relationships. The shame and embarrassment that a victim experiences can be more overwhelming than the beating itself. This may not make sense but follow my logic for a moment. Why is it that when a woman goes into painful labor then gives birth, is she so eager to repeat the pain and talk about having another child? It is because the love was worth the sacrifice. The same dynamic could be said of a teenager or battered woman. The love overrides the pain endured in the relationship.
A victim of abuse that included spousal rape and stalking is different than a stranger affected by a random violent crime. For a battered woman the offender is an intimate and former trusted part in her life. She become confused as we are witnessing with Rihanna as she tries to absorb the impact of being deeply hurt by Chris Brown whom she believed in her heart was nurturing and protective of her.
Rihanna has made excuses for the abuse she suffered that night at the hands of Brown saying yo herself maybe she yelled first or said something that upset Brown triggering his violent rage. All a victim like Rihanna remembers are only the goods times quickly wanting to forget and then decide to forgive Brown so she can rebuild from a new foundation. When there was no foundation from the begining. The problem is, once the foundation is cracked, the trust removed the relationship is forever beyond repair. No amount of counseling, similar to a magic mood ring, in my opinion, will change the abuser. Once a man raises his hand it will swing over its’ victim like an ape hanging in the trees waiting for the next opportunity to relay the anger into another beating.
And that goes for Chris Brown!
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/womens-issues-articles/rihannas-magic-mood-ring-1196422.html
About the Author
Susan Murphy Milano, an Expert Domestic Violence Advocate, has developed specific tools and procedures the abused need to safely leave a violent relationship. Her books, “Defending Our Lives” and “Moving Out, Moving On” are considered the bibles of how to make the move away from abuse and deal with the many confusing situations surrounding a break-up or divorce. She has two new books scheduled for release in 2009, “Time’s Up” and “Holding My Hand Through Hell.”
November 30, -0001
12:00 am #comment-1
there are multiple reasons floating around:
Chris wanted to end the relationship she didn’t and went crazy started hitting him, he hit her back escalating he hit a parked car and he fled.
she cheated and gave him herpes
he got a text from a girl that Rihanna thought he was cheating with.
multiple alleged reasons all ending in her in the hospital saying she was choked and unconscious and his close friends scoffing at the idea of her passing out.
but apparently jay z is very mad he said,“Chris is a walking dead man. He messed with the wrong crew.”
=/
November 30, -0001
12:00 am #comment-2
(Text below is cut and paste from another Yahoo Answer:)
1. Biting a person is usually a DEFENSIVE move when you are constricted in a position where other means of defense (such as pushing someone away) are not available. If Chris bit Rihanna, the odds are that SHE was attacking HIM.
2. In the official report, too many of Chris Brown’s supposed attacks in that car appeared to have come while he was actually driving. Inclusive of the bite. If he is driving a (rented) lambourgini, the ONLY PRACTICAL way for him to bite rihanna is if SHE was attacking him (the DRIVER) and had put BOTH HIM AND HER in a position where that was a real option of defense. I dont know what she really did, but if (hypothetically speaking) she was IN A RAGE squeezing on his NUTS while he was driving, then ANY MAN would do everything in his power to get that painful attack to stop…even beyond sane modes of retaliation. Add the fact that in her rage she might have continued attacking while he tried to defend himself? Many of her bruises (although not all) would actually have been defensive marks from Chris. No innocence there from either party, but Rihanna could have kept up that psychotic attack for several minutes even as Chris tried to get her off him. Rihanna could have been QUITE intense and causing severe pain…even if she only weighed 110 pounds. Judging only from her bruises would be QUITE misleading.
3. After faking throwing the key out the window, She sat on the car key. In the middle of a fight with someone who she claimed was attacking HER? This isnt someone tryign to kidnap her? this is someone trying to escape from you and you make that IMPOSSIBLE? So she was attacking the man. He stopped the car, and before you know it, you grab the car key and make it impossible for him to leave unless he gets out and walks? This is the ‘victim’ deliberately escalating rather than seeking egress. By stopping the car Chris Brown began seeking egress. Rihanna had the lawful option to get out if she was legally being attacked. That is not what she chose to do.
4. She didnt call 911. She faked calls to her personal assistant(s). We don’t know where in the fight she did this, but this is also WIERD for someone being ‘attacked’. She didnt even claim (in her official statement) to have asked her assistant to come help her. Within her attackers earshot, she PRETENDED to have told the personal assistant to make sure the cops are there when she got home. If Chris was the primary attacker, and the DRIVER who was dropping her home how would this have REALLY made sense? This action doesnt make sense at all. I am not sure how this factors in, but it doesnt FIT in Rihannas story properly. Dr. Gregg House would call this an anomaly.
OK? So not only is Chris Brown FAR from perfect. The CASE isnt quite perfect either. Its VERY messy. Just remember that she admits that it started with her, when she read a flipping text message.
November 30, -0001
12:00 am #comment-3
I believe i bet he wish he hit her harder now!
November 30, -0001
12:00 am #comment-4
I would never hit a girl especially someone i love but hell yeah i would give her a big slap on the face if she gave me an STD. Especially one that you CAN NEVER GET RID OF. Wait the text is old news but why arent they talking about the herpes huh?
November 30, -0001
12:00 am #comment-5
The only thing that we know is he hit rihanna
and he went to jail but paid 50,000 dollars to be bailed out
We don’t know a reason. The only people that know is Chris and Rihanna
People are making up reasons just for attention
February 10, 2009
10:48 pm #comment-6
Do you believe Rihanna attacked chris brown in jealously over a phone call?
We know she started the argument and it ended tragically for them both.
Her face is ruined and his career is ruined
http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/02/10/2009-02-10_rihanna__chris_brown_fight_started_over_.html
http://bossip.com/82957/breaking-news-bossip-exclusive-rihanna-started-the-fight/
It seems the truth is slowly trickling out about the crazy lamborghi argument.
February 12, 2009
9:07 am #comment-7
what caused the whole Chris Brown/Rihanna fight?
I don’t understand what would cause him to hit her,and i saw on Enews that he choked her and she supposedly passed out??
So what caused it!?
February 20, 2009
1:27 am #comment-8
Chris Brown-Rihanna fight. The fighting over the text is a cover up! True but there’s more!?
I have a friend in that works in the LAPD and he told me the day after the fight that Chris Brown had beat Rihanna because she had gave him herpes. The Doctor called Chris Brown to tell him the Bad news and the text he received that made rihanna go nuts on him added to fuel and caused him to beat her to a pulp. Think its a lie? Oh well. Maybe the outbreak in her face might convince you.http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A9G_bHJmdZ5J4xYAoZ6jzbkF/SIG=12kk96p5g/EXP=1235207910/**http%3A//news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090220/ap_on_en_mu/people_rihanna_1
the text he received from the girl made rihanna go psycho and i know it aint right to beat a girl but she probably deserved just a couple of slaps and a fist to her face but not beat her up like the way he did.
wow so there was rumors of herpes last year? So then now im definetely believe she pass it too him
February 23, 2009
4:30 pm #comment-9
Chris Brown/ Rihanna Fight! 10 Easy Points!?
OK, so for my social studies class we have to right an article on an current event and it could be anything. So, I decided to do the Chris Brown and Rihanna fight. What happened tell me everything you know besides Chris Brown was a retard. Thank you, and if you can please tell me where you got the information from that would be very nice! 10 points for most detailed and true answer!
March 7, 2009
1:47 pm #comment-10
How do you guys feel about the Chris Brown and Rihanna fight?
I am a Chris Brown fan and I am hurt about what happen because he let alot of us down but at the same time he is human and he is not perfect and some people can’t seem to get that!